Advice and Guidance
If you have experienced domestic abuse, don’t suffer in silence. You are not alone and you are not to blame. You do not have to report the abuse or violence to the police but to help you cope think about talking to a specialist. Talking to specialists who understand abuse is key to understanding your situation and creating space for action.
There are a number of local organisations that can help and support you even if you do not want to report the crime to the Police:
If you are in immediate danger or you feel threatened call 999. If you can't speak on the phone, click here for advice on how to call 999 using the 'Silent Solution'.
Women can call the 24 Hour Free Nottinghamshire domestic and sexual violence helpline run by Juno Women’s Aid on 0800 800 0340 or click here to be taken to the Juno Women’s Aid website for further information. If you want help or just want someone to talk to the 24 hour helpline is there for you – you do not even have to give them your name.
Men aged over 16 living in Nottingham city and over 18 living in Nottinghamshire county who are experiencing domestic abuse can contact the Men’s domestic abuse service provided by Equation on 0115 960 5556 or click here to be taken to the Equation website for further information.
This service is available Monday to Friday 9.30am-4.30pm. There is a 24/7 confidential answerphone to leave a message with your safe contact details.
If you do want to report the crime to the police please see reporting a crime.
Domestic Abuse is defined by law as ‘any incident of threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between adults who are or have been intimate partners or family members, regardless of gender or sexuality.’
Domestic abuse and violence can take many forms including:
- Physical abuse – this may involve someone hitting, punching, kicking, pushing, choking or using weapons against you
- Economic abuse – this may involve someone taking your money, controlling your finances, not letting you work
- Sexual abuse – this may involve someone touching or groping you without your consent, someone making you watch porn or someone pressuring or forcing you to have sex with them or others
- Emotional or psychological abuse – this may involve someone blackmailing you, threatening you, your family or your pets, someone constantly criticising you, someone constantly watching you and checking up on you, someone making you feel guilty or scared. This coercive and controlling behaviour is likely to make you feel scared, controlled, dependent and/or isolated.
Anyone can experience domestic abuse no matter their age, race, sex, gender identity, sexuality, (dis)ability, wealth, or lifestyle. People can experience domestic abuse in many ways and there are many affects it may have on that person - there is no right or wrong way to react.
You may have physical injuries, you may be very emotional, you may be frightened to say no, scared of saying the wrong thing, worried what might happen if you get help, anxious in your home and struggling to sleep properly.
If you have any physical injuries, it is important that you get these checked out as soon as possible at either a walk in centre or Accident and Emergency – you can find your local urgent care centre here https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/Urgent-Care/LocationSearch/0
The NHS Moodzone pages have a lot of tips on how to boost your emotional wellbeing which you can find here.
Here are some general tips to help you stay safe. For more detailed information and support please see the useful links below:
- Have an escape route planed within your home so that you are prepared if a confrontation does occur
- Keep a diary of any incidents with dates and times – this should include arguments, injuries, harassment, cyber stalking etc
- If a confrontation take place, try to remove yourself from the situation. Move away from rooms where there are more dangerous objects, for example the kitchen where there might be knives
- Always have your phone charged and with you
- Use strong security settings on social media
- Keep important documents such as passports with you
- Many people who experience domestic abuse also have concerns for children. Social workers will not take your children away if they can work with you to make sure they are safe. Teach children how to call for emergency help.